The key to the diet that best works for you lies in your zodiac sign

As we set course for a new year, many among us seek to better ourselves through resolutions that include changes in diet and physical exercise.

What bandwagon of betterment should you be jumping on? The answer may be in the stars.

U.S. News & World Report has revealed the best diets and, perhaps unsurprisingly, that olive oil-chugging showboat the Mediterranean diet took the No. 1 spot for best overall for the seventh year in a row.

The word diet comes from the Greek diaita, meaning “a way of life.” In this sense, what we consume (or don’t) is perhaps best viewed as a dedicated way of being rather than a system of restriction and control.

“Choosing a diet can be tough,” maintains Gretel Schueller, the magazine’s managing editor of health. “Each person has unique health considerations and goals, and there are many diets out there to choose from — and it’s hard to know which ones will actually work best for you.”

You got that right, Gretel.

We’re here to help with a star-coded plan for each zodiac sign.

Read on, eat well, may you live forever and I never die.

Keto diet

Extreme and extremely divisive, Aries folk will see themselves in the Keto diet.

The high-fat, low-carb plan that delivers fast results is on-brand and perfect for the palate of this quick-moving sign who lives by the ethos of harder, faster, first. Lana Nasrallah, manager of clinical nutrition at UNC Health, a not-for-profit integrated health care system based in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, says, “It is not clear if the keto diet works or is safe in the long term as a weight loss diet.”

Questionable at best and dangerous at worst? True of keto, the average Aries.

Mediterranean diet

If Taurus were a coastal region, it would undoubtedly be the Mediterranean: the land of blue water, bucolic groves, ancient aesthetics, insistent sunshine and midday meals that last for hours.

In-kind, the Mediterranean diet — which focuses more on abundant greens, high-quality ingredients and healthy fats than restriction (a Taurus’s least favorite word) — suits the lifestyle and “more is more” ethos of this cardinal earth sign. To boot, or bull as it were, aspirational Taurus Penelope Cruz has followed the Mediterranean Diet for most of her life.

The HMR Program

Mercurial and much more in the mind than in the body, when it comes to following a diet or directions, Gemini folk are quick to start but struggle to stick with it.

The HMR diet is in two phases — a nice complement for the dual nature of the twins — and incorporates structured meal plans and behavioral coaching to ensure long-term success. As U.S. News & World Report maintains, “The diet reduces decisions, allowing members to take a break from current food routines.”

Reducing decisions and deviating from routine? Pure poetry to this mutable air sign.

TLC Diet

Cancer is the sign of roots and apron strings. Family-oriented and prone to worrying about the well-being of others to a paralyzing degree, crab folks will rejoice in the TLC diet, which lowers cholesterol, improves heart health and is expansive enough to allow the whole family to eat together without modification.

Noom diet

It is no secret that Leo folks love to feel like the celebrated star of their life, and Noom offers enough individual attention and support to cosign that fantasy.

The subscription health app offers daily lessons, virtual coaching, meal and exercise tracking tools, personalized feedback and a sense of community to aid users in their journey towards the wealth of health.

Dr. Weil’s Anti-Inflammatory diet

Virgo is the sign of ritual purification and divine order. In-kind and upon fork, Dr. Weil’s Anti-Inflammatory diet aims to reduce chronic inflammation and related illnesses like heart disease, cancer and Alzheimer’s disease by fortifying the body through organic produce, wild-caught fish and omega-3 fatty acids.

Supposed cons of the diet include “tedious portioning, meal planning or prep” and “lots of rules to remember” — both of which hold an erotic thrill for this mutable earth sign.

Atkins Diet

A more balanced approach (pun intended) to achieving ketosis, the Atkins Diet was designed by fellow Libra Robert C. Atkins.

Libras are prone to distraction and anxiety stemming from the crushing pressure of trying to be all things to all people while also looking fresh AF. Blessedly, and according to U.S. News & World Report, “individuals on Atkins often report thinking more clearly, focusing better, suffering less pain, feeling more energetic and sleeping better overall.”

Mayo Clinic diet

Scorpio is the sign of seismic change and personal transformation, and the Mayo Clinic diet is a 12-week program designed to recalibrate the body and mind with behavioral changes and a pyramid-based (very on-brand for the occult-leaning Scorpio) approach to eating.

The Mayo Clinic diet is rigorous and understands that the psychology of health is as important as its physical application.

DASH Diet

Ruled by gas giant, thunder god Jupiter, Sagittarius is the sign of expansiveness and excess.

Allergic to being fenced in, cut shor, or told “no,” archers will appreciate that no food group is off-limits, nor eating schedule enforced on the DASH Diet, which stands for Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension.

Championing fiber and calcium while keeping a cap on salt, DASH ensures Sag folk can keep their blood pressure down and their wheels rolling on toward the sunset.

Volumetrics Diet

Ruled by the stern planet Saturn, the great teacher, Capricorn is a no-bulls–t sign that leans toward common sense, the proven path, and the tried and true.

In keeping with this ethos, the Volumetrics diet is nutritionally sound and vested in time-tested techniques such as portion management and the consumption of nutrient-dense, low-calorie foods. Bottom-dollar, belt-tightening sea goats will also appreciate that this diet is budget-friendly.

MIND Diet

Aquarius is governed by two planetary rulers, Saturn and Uranus, and is thus an energetic aggregate of tradition and progress, foundations and the future.

In-kind, the MIND Diet — which stands for Mediterranean-DASH Intervention for Neurodegenerative Delay — incorporates the tenets of two proven diets, DASH and Mediterranean, to create a plan that improves brain health and staves off mental decline.

Vegan diet

Pisces people love a cause they can commit to: a jam band, hallucinogenic therapy, binge drinking, historical preservation, animal rescue, etc.

In kind and support of their care-bear bearing, going vegan might be the move for Piscean people.

The good news? While abiding by a vegan diet you can still mainline sugar and drink like the fish you are while reducing cholesterol and feeling good about not killing anything.

Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad