I’m a reformed narcissist — here’s how I used to manipulate people

A TikToker who describes herself as a reformed narcissist has amassed 22,000 followers on the social media platform by sharing the ways she says she manipulated people.

“I always viewed relationships as, like, mental chess,” she explains in a viral video posted last week.

“Everything that I said and did was planned and thought out to get reactions and to, like, get people to do certain things, so I pushed people to really bad places.”

Lilith, who goes by the username @toxiccwaste0 on TikTok, claims she was officially diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder in 2021, but didn’t start to take the diagnosis seriously until last year.

The Post reached out to the creator for comment.


TikTok user Lilith has amassed over 22,000 followers by speaking about her journey with narcissistic personality disorder.
TikTok user Lilith has amassed over 22,000 followers by confessing she’s a narcissist.
Tiktok / toxiccwaste0

She explained that she would often push people to “traumatized” and “mentally distraught places.”

“I would pull them into their trauma, like I would figure out their trauma and their triggers and then I would slowly dose them with their triggers and their traumas to put them in flight-or-fight mode, so then I could have more control over them,” she added.

She reported that a man who was “so stuck on her” sent her $150,000 during the coronavirus pandemic. The creator, who did not identify the man, claimed she told him to kill himself and made him cry.

“I would lie to him, and then I would give him doses of what he wanted,” Lilith said. “But I was mostly just really abusive.”

She acknowledged that people shouldn’t do what she described.

She claims she apologized to the man and even offered to pay back a portion of the money.

She admitted that at one point, she thought it was “cool” to manipulate people, but now says she feels “disgusted” by the behavior.

“At the end of the day, whether or not I admit it, I did it,” she said. “I have to live with it. And none of you know what that looks like for me, so it’s fine for me to express it because I have come to a place of acceptance of what I’ve done, and I’ve also come to a place where I’m moving forward, so I don’t continue to do it anymore.”

Those with diagnosed narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can often feel like they are more important than they actually are, according to the Mayo Clinic. People who have this disorder do not always have the ability to “understand or care for” other people’s feelings, the research institute states.


Lilith explained how people can go about changing their NPD behavior in a recent video.
Lilith said she has opened up in the hope of inspiring others to avoid the behaviors.
Tiktok / , toxiccwaste0

She also revealed why she decided to share more about the story about the worst thing she's ever done.
She also revealed why she decided to share more about the story about the worst thing she’s ever done.
Tiktok / , toxiccwaste0

People who have NPD may experience problems in relationships, work, school, or financial situations, per the Mayo Clinic, which noted those with the disorder do not often seek out treatment because they don’t like to believe there could be something “wrong” with them.

Oftentimes, the way they get diagnosed is by seeking help for something else, like depression.

Experts have revealed the signs you’re a narcissist; your partner is a narcissist and your boss is a narcissist.