I have a micropenis — this is how I have sex

He has mastered the art of small talk.

A man with a self-proclaimed “micropenis” is going viral after revealing how he breaks the news about his minuscule manhood to potential sex partners.

The anonymous anatomy “teacher” divulged his techniques for broaching the uncomfortable subject in “I Hate That I Was Born With a Micropenis,” a viral thread in the “Ask Me Anything” forum currently blowing up on Reddit.

“I’ve experienced many awkward embarrassing moments,” user LsZen7 confessed while describing his purported “adult micropenis,” defined by the Cleveland Clinic as a member that measures 3.67 inches or less when stretched.

For reference, the average erect penile length for adults clocks in at 5.25 inches, according to the experts in such things.

LsZen7 claimed that his wee willy is only 1/4 of an inch while flaccid — that’s over six times smaller than the threshold for a micropenis. (Having a micropenis is so rare it only affects only around 0.6% of the world’s male population, according to the Kinsey Institute for research in sex, gender and reproduction in Bloomington, Indiana.)

Meanwhile, the Reddit masses had questions about how he handles life with a little penis, especially when it comes to the boudoir.

“How do you approach sexual relationships when you meet a girl, like do you inform her first or just go for it and pray for the best?” inquired one inquisitive poster.

Fortunately, he was able to give them the long and the short of breaking the ice.

“I don’t bother lying to women about my size tbh but like in the beginning stages like those talk to get to know you stages and if it’s [brought] up during one of those sexy time talks I’ll be honest and say my size,” LsZen7 admitted. “Other times like heat of the moment just hooked up with a woman when it happens I’ll take mine out and just hope for the best.”

Unfortunately, ripping off this proverbial Band-Aid generally leads to humiliating situations, he admitted.

“I mean mostly every partner I’ve been with were kind disappointed. I mean I sorta felt it and normally it’s an awkward embarrassing experience from there,” he lamented while answering viewer queries on how women respond to learning about the “elephant in the room.”

The Redditor said he first found out he had a “micropenis” while visiting the doctor with his parents as a kid.

“I sorta vaguely remember at maybe 6 yrs like a last memory of my parents talking on it with like a doctor,” LsZen7 described. “As I grew up I didn’t really bring it up really not at all just sort of dealt with it alone.”

However, the poor fellow realized something was definitely awry when he reached high school and realized that his member had not grown since he was younger.

To make a shlong story short, having a micropenis made his love life a living hell.  

“Dating and sex became a struggle most of the time [it’s] awkward,” he said.

When asked if he tries to pleasure partners in other ways that don’t involve a penis, LsZen7 replied that “it’s not as easy for me” as the mood is generally killed after they witness his teeny weeny.

As a result of his condition, the poor fellow says he has yet to make it past “2nd base.”

Interestingly, his 1-inch-blunder runs counter to one San Francisco sexpert, who claims that micropenises can paradoxically enhance the sexperience — as it forces people to think outside the box.

Unfortunately, the Redditor says that his small-penis problems extend beyond the bedroom, claiming that he’s been “made fun throughout the years because of it.”

“I mean growing up I always avoided the boy locker rooms and the pool and beaches because of my size,” the embattled lad described. “Many embarrassing moments throughout my life hell once or twice at my job because of how the seat of my uniform work pants look on me.”

He added, “Using the restroom I avoid urinals just wait for a stall.”

LsZen7 said he would even sometimes “sit to take a leak” to avoid making a mess because his micropenis is difficult to aim.

Redditors were quick to commend the poster on being so candid about such an embarrassing and debilitating condition.

“You seem quite at ease with it and accepting of it,” praised one commenter. “There’s obvs a massive stigma around it for men and even as a slightly above average but nothing to write home about man I get nervous to whip it out the first time, I really feel for you bro.”

LsZen7 concluded, “I mean the insecurity gets the better of me some days for sure but it’s the hand I’m dealt all I can do is accept myself.”

The original poster said he didn’t foresee himself undergoing penis-enhancement procedures — a common question on the thread.

“Supposedly penile enlargement surgery is a thing but from what I’ve read it’s normally practiced illegally n it’s expensive and it’s high risk I mean as much of a risk as other surgeries but it’s very damaging to the part,” said the Redditor.

Luckily, the Redditor is not alone in his struggle with many members of the micropenis community fighting back against the stigma of being less than well-endowed.

In 2021, dozens of men hit the streets of Los Angeles for a “Small Dong March,” seeking to end the so-called “shame” associated with having an undersized penis. 

The year prior, micropenis activists launched Dinky One, a matchmaking website that aims to combat penis-size pressure by helping those with smaller phalluses find love.