I always look drunk — my rare medical condition destroyed me

A British woman’s unusual medical condition has destroyed her life and makes everyone think she’s intoxicated — and doctors believe her malady was brought on by bullying in school.

Emilyjane Vernau, 27, from Essex, was diagnosed with epilepsy nearly seven years ago and says her diagnosis has ruined her professional and personal life.

“Everything was taken away when I was diagnosed — my life just flipped,” Vernau, who had been training to be a private first-aid responder, told Jam Press.

“I had a career, I used to do first responding but I had my license taken away. I had over 40 qualifications, and they all just got stripped from me.”

Vernau’s medical condition has also completely upended her day-to-day life, too.

“Now, in public, people often think I am drunk because I can’t walk straight or because my speech is slurred,” Vernau said.


Emilyjane Vernau wearing head gear
Vernau was first diagnosed with epilepsy at the age of 20 and spent nearly two years trialing drugs to control her seizures.
Jam Press

“I have been stripped of everything I knew,” she added.

Vernau was diagnosed with epilepsy at 20 after she began suffering from hallucinations and “shaking” seizures.

She spent two years trialing seven different medications, but her condition continued to worsen and she developed rare focal seizures that have left her with permanent damage.

“The first time it happened and my vision went, I just burst into tears. It was so sudden and I could see four or five of everything, I thought I was going blind,” Vernau explained.

“They started just being around 10 to 20 minutes a day, but slowly they got worse and eventually the triple vision was 24/7.”


Emilyjane Vernau with her parents and partner
The 27-year-old can no longer leave the house without supervision and relies on her parents and partner to get through the day.
Jam Press

After spending years working to care for others, Vernau’s neurological disorder has forced her to rely on her parents and partner just to get through the day.

She’s become mostly housebound and unable to leave her home without supervision.

“My mum has to do everything for me, she and my dad are basically my carers,” Vernau admitted.

“I wake up and sometimes I see seven of the same thing, and this happens from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. I sometimes have to be carried upstairs by my partner. If I have a shaking seizure, he catches me.”

It’s also put her life in danger.

“When I have had to leave the house, I have nearly been hit by cars and I have fallen into roads,” she said. “This condition affects my everyday life.”


Emilyjane Vernau as a child
Vernau believes that her neurological disorder was brought on by the stress of years of schoolyard bullying. She was endlessly taunted for bright red hair as a child.
Jam Press

The redhead believes her epilepsy was caused by PTSD from years of vicious bullying in her early school days.

“I was bullied every single day at school because of my ginger hair. I eventually had to get home-schooled, because it became too much,” Vernau shared.

When discussing her condition with her doctor, she said her neurologist informed her that the traumatic stress of being bullied may have caused her neurological disorder.

“I collapsed to the floor,” Vernau said of when her doctor proposed the possible cause for her condition.

“There was so much anger and upset based on how much damage they have caused to me. Their nasty words and bullying have given me disabilities for the rest of my life,” she added.

“It has destroyed the rest of my life, physically and mentally. There is no cure and nothing can be done about it.”

Not only does Vernau struggle with the physical symptoms of her epilepsy every day, but she also grapples with the reality of what her bullies have caused her.

“They have taken my life away,” she insisted.

Despite the animosity she still feels towards her schoolyard bullies and the mental toll of the diagnosis, Vernau is working to better understand her condition and stay positive.

She is currently undergoing various medical tests at the hospital to try to pinpoint her issues and hopes researchers find a cure.

In the meantime, Vernau is sharing her story to raise more awareness about epilepsy and the devastating consequences bullying can have.

“People die from [this], and it is just as important as a heart attack,” she warned. “I think a lot of people get diagnosed with epilepsy because of their past traumas. Bullying does cause disabilities, not just mental but physical.”

“Bullying is what took my life away.”