Do I need to shock my penis? Probably not, experts say

A bizarre strategy for erectile health is raising more than eyebrows.

The news that eccentric middle-aged tech mogul Bryan Johnson is literally shocking his titularly-nicknamed body part to keep it young has pricked up male ears around the world, raising the question — does shock therapy really help the penis?

“There’s this technology — you have a wand and you sit in a chair and the technician uses the wand and basically shocks your penis through acoustic technology,” Johnson explained on the Diary of a CEO podcast published last month.

Home versions of a penis shocker run just under a thousand dollars.

“I have been shocked by the results. I’m now two months in. My subjective experience is as if my penis has gotten 15 years younger,” he said.

The long and the skinny, experts say? Crank the hype down a notch — there are significant risks involved in the unproven treatment. Read on for the verdict.

Is it safe to shock your penis?

Johnson described the non-Food & Drug Administration-approved approach, which doesn’t require a medical professional’s administration, as having a pain scale between 7 and 9 out of 10 — a significant consideration for those sensitive to pain.

In addition, the University of Utah warns that this shock treatment can cause bleeding or bruising on the penis and can result in bloody urine too.

Painful erections have also been observed in patients treating themselves to regular zaps.

University of California associate urology professor Dr. Faysal A. Yafi warns against the whole shebang.

“Acoustic wave therapies are very soft waves that are given to the penis. There is zero evidence for the efficacy,” he said. “These are basically, what I like to tell patients, like taking a toy hammer and hitting the penis. It does absolutely nothing.”

Fellow experts aren’t so hot and heavy for the bizarre method — one the University of Utah bills as “experimental.”

Instead, doctors recommend these more common sense ways to keep one’s member happy and healthy.

Less shocking ways to treat your penis nicely

“The barometer of men’s health is erectile function: how strong the erection is, and the ability to maintain erection,” says Dr Amin Herati, director of male infertility and men’s health at Johns Hopkins told The Guardian.

He also stressed the frequency of morning and nighttime erections is a telltale sign of a healthy member.

If you notice a decrease in spontaneously going full sail overnight — or a decrease in overall erectile quality — that could be a warning that some hormones have been rubbed out whack.

On a more serious note, it could be a warning sign for cardiovascular disease too.

After all, the penis is “the ‘divining rod of vascular health’,” mainly because of its blood flow dependence, according to Dr. Petar Bajic, director of the Cleveland Clinic’s Center for Men’s Health in the Glickman Urological and Kidney Institute.

“There’s some solid evidence that [erectile dysfunction] can precede a heart attack by five years.”

It’s almost important to be mindful of other inhibiting factors like anxiety, depression, a lack of testosterone, substance abuse or nerve damage.

In other words, “a lot of pieces have to be working,” says Herati. “Exercise, diet and sleep are the easiest ways to address the psychological factors.”

Even a simple workout of five minutes that gets you out of breath three to four times a week should get the job done. Urinating healthily and avoiding sexually transmitted diseases also help a great deal when it comes to staying stiff, according to the doctor.

For those on a medication that might be stifling their mojo, Dr. Bajic stresses that it’s not the right answer to stop taking the pills. Instead, consult a physician for an alternative solution.

“Something I commonly see in my practice is a man might have been prescribed blood pressure pills and he stops taking it,” he said. “And then he comes into the office and his blood pressure is wildly out of control, and at that point his erectile function has deteriorated so much you can’t get it back.”